Local Voices: Who's Your Daddy?

California hasn't just become a nanny state.  It is also a mommy and daddy state.  In fact, should you become divorced with children, the State of California only allows you to parent your child as its agent and can take that away at any time.

I recently wrapped up the latest round of family court battles seeking more time with my son.  As usual, it was a very expensive and emotional wrenching process.  Yes, I did get substantially more time.

My situation is not unique.  I watched similar situations unfold throughout my time in court.  This is how it plays out if you have a job and can pay.  Those who didn't have gainful employment were quickly heard and their proceedings concluded.  Apparently, only people with income need the courts to become heavily involved.

The court will assign your child their own attorney.  You get to pay for the representation.  You and your spouse will also be required to attend parenting classes for eight Saturdays.  You also get to pay for this.

You will now be in an adversarial relationship with not only the other parent but also your child because they now have their own counsel.  You will have to interview with your child's attorney for the position of parent. 

Your child's counsel will have no issue with racking up hours of representation.  After all, you will be ordered by the court to pay their bill.

The judge will tell you their only concern is the child's welfare.  The courts have no interest in parental rights, needs wants, etc. I'm not making the argument that the courts shouldn't be concerned with the welfare of the child.  It should.  However, California needs family law reform desperately.  As one family law mediator told me, " You have no right to take your child to church."

Parents deserve a 50/50 role in their child's life absent any evidence of abuse, neglect or other serious concern.  It should be the presumptive schedule.  I found the degree the government felt it should become involved in my family's life to be quite extraodinary. 

In my case, the judge ordered me to recarpet my home because the prior resident might have owned a pet that could have left behind dander that might cause my son to sneeze.  Although no evidence was ever produced to suggest this was a problem.  Parents can fully expect to be deprived of property and liberty while subjected to one of the most intrusive processess I've ever experienced.

I was afforded the opportunity to hear story after story of cases becoming more involved than should be necessary while attending parenting classes.  The system was designed by those who profit off the destruction of families.  Solutions are postponed to allow every possible dollar to be wrenched form the pockets of parents.

It shouldn't be that complicated.  Again, I go back to the philosophy that absent abuse or an overiding situational issue, time should be equal.

Divorce is hard enough.  Making the process incredibly complex and drawn out absent any overiding concern doesn't make it easier.  Way too much drama.

Oh by the way, I was seeking two weeknights to help my son with his homework.  This took nearly an entire academic year to achieve.